Nothing But A Word.

Love is all but a word.
Love is all but a feeling.
My use to be thoughts... Shattered when we met.

Why is it when i see you, my stomach feels tighter and i could hardly breath?
Why is it when i hear you, I feel my face heating up and i can't look at you?
What is it about you that makes you feel so important to me?

Cupid is truly a fool to strike me with one of his cursed poison tipped bows.
His worse mistake, because now i can't let go, forget, or truly look at you the same way.

I've never EVER felt something this deep.
It frusterates me that my heart is held in your hands.
Is my heart that easily found? obtained? stolen? tamed?

All i wish is for you to return what rightfully belongs to me.
Until I get "it" back, i'll listen to my soul; not something that is such a weak object.

My heart became my puppet master, and brought this damn burden onto me.
And i was the pawn who listened.
So, I'll chain up my heart and surround it with millions of guards; if i have to.
Because love is nothing but a word.

..........................................................................................

more and more i see him. the more and more i feel depressed.
He fucking keeps ignoring me and i don't know why but i blame my heart, cupid...
everything but myself. Even when i know its my fault... i can't really explain why i'm so stupid but what i wrote in that poem is true and its my true feelings i can't show. i see him tomorrow... but i'm to scared to go to the class we have together...

-Crystle Cao

invisible

As every awakening hour arrives, i feel as if i'm an hour closer to you.
The unexpected happened to be lucky, for i'm in the same class with you.
You already know that my feelings for you is true, but who am i to judge.
Ignoring me and smiling as if i'm not even there. Truly isn't the person
i've set my heart out for. I close my eyes and hope this is truly a nightmare
and not realty that your not trying to pretend i'm not there.
But as every laughter i hear from you, its become all to real. I can't grasp
why it's come to this, but if you only see me as someone who isn't a close friend
anymore... I might as well tell you that "your wish is my command."
Your attempts to filter out who i am and what i am to you, makes me feel
Invisible.

I guess i'm gonna post my inside feelings like this from now on. and type a decription of why i wrote this ahaha.
basically I'm feeling emo right now. the person i like is being an ass and ignoring me. so it makes me feel a bit bummed about it. i guess what i'm trying to say is it kinda hurts but i'll try to move on. even though i don't want to. I KNOE ITS CHEESY OKIE! i can't write poem stuff for shit haha. :3

-Crystle Cao

hard work

kills XD i'm so dead tired of all this haha. staying up late and waking up early and running around! i rather go to school XD and handling rude customers where your at the point you want to scream CHEAP ASS in there faces and slap them.

argh! just one more day till i'm free. :D school is coming to soon! D:

i should really do my summer reading. wth the title says hard work but i'm rambling about something else. i guess i've turned insane for reals :D
we'll see >_____>

Birthday

So today is my birthday. and most my bestest friends didn't go to the party cause they were either on vacation, had sports thing, or cause one person isn't going that person isn't going either. damn rich kids in plano. haha i still love them i guess. but its really annoying.
some of my high school friends did come! i was so thrilled! it was a little slow in the beginning of the day cause it was a bit awkward but as time pregressed it became fun with water balloons and scary movies :D

so when we departed to say our goodbyes i was a bit bummed. Also cause i had to clean up the house cause it looked so... HAHA. well. I'm glad some of my friends came. and my heart is eager to see everyone in school agian. Just not to soon. cause i haven't done my summer reading. in which i should XD

okies. i think i'm done.